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Three Boston Deacons Serve in the Rescue Effort at Ground Zero

A Reflection From "Ground Zero"

I had never been to New York City, and I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to be on my way there even now. I remember having these same thoughts as I traveled from my home on the North Shore to Worcester in December 1999 when a devastating fire stole the lives of 6 firefighters from our midst. But, that's what we do as Deacons. That's part of our ministry as Deacons. That's the Diaconal service that Jesus teaches us in the Gospels. And as God's disciples and apprentices of the Good News here and now ... it is the stuff the Spirit empowers us to do. As a Fire Chaplain for the Danvers Fire Department and member of The Mass. Corp. of Fire Chaplains I am astounded at the trauma and tragedy that encompasses in particular the Fire Service. If there is one thing I've learned about the Grace of God it is to never anticipate ... and always be ready to participate. As a Firefighter responds to an alarm or call to service he/she is never quite sure of what they will encounter. This journey that God has called us to as Ministers of Service is much the same as that of a Firefighter. We can anticipate the encounter all we want yet, we had better be ready to participate fully in a direction contrary to what we think. And be ready to participate faithfully in trust, chaperoned by a transcendental Grace.

The World Trade Center and New York City itself are undoubtedly places where many people have come together chaperoned by Grace. There is an energy that exists there that is beyond anything I have ever encountered. It is an impressionable energy that is difficult to comprehend, complex to explain, and virtually impossible to do justice with mere words. If you want to know the truth about this horrific event in the history of this great nation and the world turn to God. For in Him is the only place to find comfort and solace. The emotions that have seized many of us (those who were there and those who experienced this event in some form) will last and span generations. I have and probably will continue (as time goes on) to write volumes of reflections regarding September 11. It is my way of coping. It is a kind of peaceful, prayerful bartering with confusion. You know, those confusing things we don't really understand that happen in our individual worlds.

It helps me listen and speak with God from my heart. The total of 2 1/2 weeks I spent at the WTC doesn't even come close to the efforts of others working tirelessly even today, yes even today. Many individuals such as Red Cross, Salvation Army and Ecumenical group volunteers continue to spend countless hours of their lives assisting recovery workers as they seek rest from what is know on site as "The Pile". Most amazing to me as we worked side by side in craters and on "The Pile" were the efforts made in clearing away 16 acres of devastation while adequately securing the dignity of what remained of thousands of people including 343 Firefighters? (I think and pray for them everyday and as you read this thought ... pause ... and say a prayer for them as well.)

Don't even try to imagine it! Really, you can't imagine it and you know what, thank God, you can't because a part of you would still be there with those that will never be found. That is the reality of this event. That is the reality in the aftermath of evil. Yet, on some other level I know now better than before that there is a Love that guards the gates of hell. And it is a Love, a Light that can and will defeat all that is Dark.

There is no need to be alarmed about what I write and there is no need to be alarmed about what you feel, for in fact there is a sound diverse existence that is broad, and that settles into many hearts in a time of need. The stories, the conversations, the sights, the sounds, the aroma and the tears are endless. I've spoken to Firefighters, in search of their fallen brothers and uncles and fathers and sons and cousins; Police Officers, in search of their friends and neighbors and wives and sisters; Battalion Chiefs, who 2 months ago were Captains in a single Engine House promoted to Chiefs in charge of multiple places and Stations; construction workers who just last week were building a house and now this week are operating track machines and backhoes searching for someone's spouse; crane operators whose job it is at a commercial building site to lift enormous steel beams yet now at what resembles more a landfill simply clearing steel from a crime scene; native New Yorkers, who as children delivered papers to friends in this area near Wall Street who have now returned to volunteer and help, their hearts now split wide open; sanitation workers whose job it was to keep the streets clean and trash piles down and now they fill tanker trucks with water and drive in circles spraying a 16-acre site trying to keep the ash and dust down.

Somehow, it hurts as he stops, and I wave him bye, he hollers out the window to me, "Look at this dust; it's people! Why did so many have to die?" I couldn't agree more and, Oh God,. I don't know why? This is one heck of a journey we are on Lord, (I think to myself) and I wipe more tears from my eyes. The Mass. Corp. of Fire Chaplains was deployed to New York City as assistance because of our experience as C.I.S.M (Critical Incident Stress Management) trained clergy of all denominations. That was our service, that's what we do. That's what Jesus would have done.

Deacon Norman R. St. Hilaire Jr., 2000