The Special Charism of the Married Deacon in His Own Parish
The experience of married clergy in the Roman Catholic tradition is
still very young, and so we continually become aware of different aspects
of it. We struggle with how to balance the demands of family and ministry,
and recognizing the identity of the wives of permanent Deacons. But
it is not all struggle; we also discover the unique ways that married
clergy are able to contribute to the building of the kingdom of God.
I would like to share one very powerful way that Deacons who are married,
and especially those who serve in their own parish, are able to serve
others in a way that celibate clergy cannot.
In his address on the identity, functions, and prospects of the Permanent
Diaconate during the Jubilee for Deacons in Rome (February 19, 2000),
the Most Reverend Excellency, Msgr. Roberto O. González Nieves, O.F.M.,
Archbishop of San Juan de Puerto Rico recalls one of the most important
tasks of the Deacon:
IN MEMORIAM
Please remember in prayer our loved
ones who have died and those who mourn their loss.
Aline Dzuris, Mother of Deacon Bob Dzuris '88
Leo Lydon, Grandson of Deacon Don (RIP) and Barbara
Putnam ’83
Michael Fitzgerald, Stepfather of Deacon James
V. Kerrigan '98
Dorothy E. Ryan, Mother of Deacon Kenneth N.
Ryan '00
Mr. Francis T. Mandosa, Father of Deacon Frank
Mandosa '96
Linda Lampman, Gates Wife of Deacon Frank Gates
'00
Marie Mazzella, Sister of Joann McCarthy '90
Grace Taggart, Mother of Irene Counihan '77
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Therefore, Deacons must be familiar with the faithful's needs, which
should be included in the Universal Prayer, in the liturgy of the Mass
and of the Hours, as well as in their personal prayers. … They should
voice their neighbor’s needs before the hierarchical Church, bearing
in mind all material, spiritual, and cultural needs, as well as the
needs of piety and popular traditions: in other words, all human needs.
As most Deacons assigned to parish ministry will attest to, a major
factor standing in the way of the Deacon identifying the needs of the
faithful, especially those who are on the margins of society, is the
very activity of his assignment. The vortex of parish needs quickly
sucks the Deacon into activities that revolve around the parish: baptisms,
marriages, religious education, and so on. Which makes the Deacon less
and less available to those without voice or visibility to the Church:
those who do not regularly attend church. The more time he spends in
church, the less time he has to encounter the needs of those who do
not participate in the life of the parish, as it is centered in the
church or parish hall. And this turning inward towards the practicing
church community is exacerbated when the parish is not his home parish.
The normal routine of a Deacon in his home parish puts him in closer
contact with a wider range of people, in the supermarket, the school
meeting, at sporting events, neighborhood gatherings, and all the other
places he goes. But I would suggest that an even more powerful connection
to the “faithful’s needs” is available to him through his wife. It is
no secret that women by nature are much more sensitive to the relationships
into which she enters. Women share more easily with each other the secrets
of their hearts and the deepest needs and hurts. As Pope John Paul II
expresses it in his Apostolic Letter, Mulieris Dignitatem (On the Dignity
and Vocation of Women),
The moral and spiritual strength of a woman is joined to her awareness
that God entrusts the human being to her in a special way.” …
And so the normal routine of a Deacon’s wife in her home parish leads
her into even greater contact with those who are hurting and suffering
in spiritual poverty. Quite often these are people who do not attend
church regularly, sometime because of a real or perceived injury from
the Church. For a Deacon serving in another parish, his wife’s relationships
are more likely to be confined to those who are active parishioners.
In her own parish, she has relationships that flow out of school, neighborhood,
shopping, recreation, and other non-church oriented activities.
We had a very good friend that stopped going to church for several
years. One day in conversation with her, my wife discovered that this
friend was angry because when her husband suffered a heart attack, no
one from the parish staff had come to visit him in the hospital or when
he returned home. We were such close friends that she didn’t consider
our visits to be parish care and concern. Armed with this knowledge,
when her daughter’s fiancé became ill, I made sure he was included by
name in the prayers of the faithful. This touched her very deeply and
eased her anger. It was a need that I never would have discovered in
a million years, and having discovered it, I would not have easily been
able to do something about it if I was assigned to a different parish.
As the U.S. Bishops’ Committee on the Permanent Diaconate puts it,
"The Deacon should indeed be a person who looks at the same circumstances
we all look at, but who sees much more than appears to most. The Deacon
should be a person who can listen to what we all listen to among the
voices and murmurs of humanity, but who hears more. Someone who grasps
almost intuitively the dimension of need that routinely escapes our
all-too-superficial hearing and sight."
A married Deacon serving in his home parish has an advantage in grasping
the dimension of need that routinely escapes our all-too-superficial
hearing and sight. That advantage is his wife. I pray that we raise
awareness of this advantage both with Deacons and with diocesan and
parish leadership so that we might more closely model Christ who came
to serve the least among us.
Deacon Charlie Cornell, ‘92
From the Director
The interview process is continuing for the next class of Deacon aspirants,
and it is interesting how often applicants use the word service
as the reason for their interest in the Diaconate. Service has
become such a hallmark of Deacons that it is no wonder aspirants mirror
it back to us.
A Diaconate program in the Midwest recently instituted a policy that
mandates assigning newly ordained Deacons to service in shelters, prisons,
hospitals or soup kitchens as their primary assignments. Any parish
ministry is a secondary assignment. The implication of this policy
is that authentic service ministry is accomplished in organized
group settings for people who are poor or otherwise considered in need.
Simply put, service is something you do.
I would like to suggest that a further dimension of service
is the stance or disposition out of which you act. Whether a Deacon
is assisting at the altar or serving meals at the soup kitchen, visiting
the incarcerated or listening to the concerns of parishioners, all of
these can be considered service if undertaken with the right
disposition.
Jesus is the model par excellence for living a life of service.
His disposition grew from his intense awareness of his loving relationship
with his Father. Jesus’ disposition was that of love. He never went
seeking those in need. They found Him and He never turned them away.
Service is more than deeds when, like Jesus, we respond to others
out of love as an incarnation of the love we have for God. Service happens
in institutional assignments to be sure, but service also happens in
our families, in our church, in our workplace, in our neighborhoods,
in shopping malls, in voting booths, in schools and especially in our
prayer. All baptized are called to serve. However, when the Deacon
serves others with this disposition, it is the Church who serves. It
is Jesus who serves!
Deacon Leo Donoghue ‘92
Life in the Diaconate Office
Almost nine months have past since my assignment to the Office of the
Permanent Diaconate as Associate Director. Ministry has taken on a
whole new dimension for me since that day.
My focus is on the ministry and life of the Deacon. Drawing on the
documents on the Diaconate from the Vatican as well as from the USCCB
and the National Association of Deacon Directors, as well as the articulated
desires and needs of the Deacons of the Church of Boston, I have begun
to formulate goals. These include:
Spiritual growth and development. We would like to improve the
participation of Deacons in an annual retreat and ensure that all Deacons
avail themselves of spiritual direction.
Annual continuing education. We hope to expand the offerings
and include more subjects of interest.
Diaconate community. We have an immediate goal to establish
a Deacon Emergency Relief Fund (Stephen Fund). 276 Deacons have been
ordained for service to the Church of Boston. We currently have 31
widows of Deacons. Many Deacons are victims of the downturn in the economy
and find themselves unemployed. There are a variety of other circumstances
which demand that we minister to one another. Hopefully in the very
near future we will have the means to offer financial assistance to
Deacons and their families as well as the widows of Deacons when they
are in crisis.
Diaconate Handbook. This would be a resource for Deacons regarding
personnel matters for assistance when it comes time to seek reassignment,
enter into Senior Deacon status, relocate out of the Diocese, or any
of a multiple of other considerations.
Finally, we recognize the catastrophe the Church of Boston finds itself
in, because of the action of a few. As a community of Deacons in service
to the Church of Boston we are in a unique position to offer healing
where needed. We must be ready to minister to anyone in need, particularly
those who are victimized, marginalized or abused in whatever way. We
are in a special position to offer support to, and stand in solidarity
with our priests. Some of our brother Deacons are assigned to parishes
directly affected by these circumstances. They need our support as
well.
Please know that Deacon Leo, Sr. Clare, Fran and myself are always
available to assist you. Please keep us in prayer. You and your families
are in ours.
Deacon Joseph M. Messina ‘77
Beginning Ordained Ministry
When I began formation I believed that as a sixty plus year old husband,
father, grandfather and lawyer I was fully formed and would not change
much. I could not believe the effect that the Diaconate formation had
on me. I knew I was self-centered when I began but did not realize
the extent of my self-centeredness until sometime near the end of formation
when I looked back. Up until this time I had sought Christ by looking
within. My relationship to him was personal and private. I learned
somewhere in formation that my relationship to him must also be communal,
that I must find him in others as well, if I was to have any success
as a Deacon.
I was fortunate in my assignment to a working class parish with a real
sense of community. I met a man whom I call our unordained Deacon.
He puts me to shame. He has an active prison and hospital ministry,
and coordinates the parish ministry to the homebound. He conducts adoration
on Thursdays from the conclusion of nine a.m. liturgy until five p.m.
when I come to conduct Benediction and repose the Blessed Sacrament.
He conducts a bible study at the parish, and has ecumenical show on
the local cable television channel. I could never find the energy to
do what he does and he is older than I am. Any time I am tempted to
become self-satisfied, I reflect upon my friend and all he does, and
become properly humble. I have seen diaconal service in action and
know I will never measure up.
I have had some success as a homilist. I am brief. I attempt to relate
the readings to the every day lives of my listeners and lead them to
the Eucharist. The feedback has been good and I hope it’s not just
that I don’t talk too long. I know that I find writing the homilies
to be a spiritual exercise and a time of quiet reflection. The gratitude
of the people for whatever you do is rewarding. I am grateful to them
for allowing me to a part of their lives.
I work with two priests whom I have come to love. They are very different
in many ways but are alike in their dedication to and joy in their priesthood.
They are the latest in a long line of brothers, sisters and priests
that I have known, admired and loved. My heart is broken by the effect
that the actions of a few perverted priests has had upon them and the
image of the priesthood. As a father, when I reflect upon the pain
of the victims and their families, my broken heart breaks anew. The
sadness and disappointment I feel as a result these actions and the
failure of their superiors to take effective action to halt these abuses
once they became known is pervasive. I am sure I’ll get over it but
I’ll never be the same. I’m sure the Church will survive too, and I
hope it too will never be the same.
John Boyle, Jr., ‘00
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